Mastering Motherhood Podcast

Home Birth and Uncomplicated Motherhood

January 19, 2020 Season 1 Episode 8
Mastering Motherhood Podcast
Home Birth and Uncomplicated Motherhood
Chapters
Mastering Motherhood Podcast
Home Birth and Uncomplicated Motherhood
Jan 19, 2020 Season 1 Episode 8
Nicoll Novak

In this episode, Colleen, mother of six and creator of the YouTube channel, Uncomplicated Motherhood, shares a beautiful home birth story along with her philosophy on simplifying motherhood and empowering women during pregnancy and childbirth.

The link to Colleen's YouTube channel is here: https://www.youtube.com/uncomplicatedmotherhood

For more on pregnancy, postpartum and parenthood, visit MasteringMotherhoodPodcast.com. Or follow on Instagram, Twitter or Facebook.

Music from https://filmmusic.io
"Bossa Antigua" by Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com)
License: CC BY (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)

Show Notes Transcript

In this episode, Colleen, mother of six and creator of the YouTube channel, Uncomplicated Motherhood, shares a beautiful home birth story along with her philosophy on simplifying motherhood and empowering women during pregnancy and childbirth.

The link to Colleen's YouTube channel is here: https://www.youtube.com/uncomplicatedmotherhood

For more on pregnancy, postpartum and parenthood, visit MasteringMotherhoodPodcast.com. Or follow on Instagram, Twitter or Facebook.

Music from https://filmmusic.io
"Bossa Antigua" by Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com)
License: CC BY (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)

Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/masteringmotherhoodpodcast)

spk_0:
00:12
Hi, everybody. This is the mastering motherhood podcast, and I'm your host. Nicole. This show is made by a mom Me four. Mom's covering pregnancy, postpartum and parenthood topics as we go through this motherhood journey together. Hi, everybody. Welcome Thio to today's show today on the show Will be talking to Colleen Calling is a mother of six and all of her kids were born at home. She taught natural childbirth classes and also has a YouTube channel focused on simplicity and motherhood. Welcome, Colleen. Hi. I'm so glad to be here. We're so glad to have you. So tell the listeners a little bit more about yourself.
spk_1:
00:59
So, yes, I have actually been teaching natural childbirth classes for about 10 years. I actually just stopped this past year. Um, I'm also a volunteer breastfeeding support counselor of offering free mother to mother support for breastfeeding mothers. Um, leading meetings connecting with moms in my area, but also on facebook and answering phone calls and private messages. Just having them solve common breastfeeding concerns. Um, and also, like you said, I have six Children of my own. Um, and I live in south with my husband.
spk_0:
01:37
That is amazing. I just the more that I learn about you, the more amazed I am by you, Which is Oh, my goodness. Awful woman, huh? Oh, you're so sweet. I'm
spk_1:
01:47
so happy to meet you. You
spk_0:
01:49
too. So you had all of your kids at home, which is just so incredible what made you decide on a home birth?
spk_1:
01:57
Yes. Well, I'm really thankful looking back to have started that way. I know lots of moms who had maybe traumatic births or births that they just kind of we're happy with. And they wanted to have a home birth after that. And I feel like having that first baby a home was really great for me because it felt like I was sort of I sort of escaped some of the unfortunate situations that happened to people. So I'm just really thankful for the people in my life that that sort of led us that way. It gave us good information from the beginning and just really feel lucky about that. Um, but, you know, I I always knew that I wanted a natural childbirth. It just sort of made sense to me. Um, So when we became pregnant with our first child we signed up for classes in Bradley method. Um, we've heard of it. We had it kind of recommended to us by a couple of people. So we started making our birth gran, and we found out that basically, we wanted an undisturbed birth without any unnecessary intervention, if possible on because of the way hospitals are set up to serve, you know, the masses with policies and preferences. We quickly realized that we were going to be spending most of our energy communicating our desires and what we wanted instead of using that energy for the labor and the birth. Um, so we scheduled our 20 week anatomy scan to find out the gender of our baby, which was very exciting with your first baby. Um and you know, my husband took the day off. It was very exciting. It's our first baby. And when we arrived, the ultrasound tech put her hand up in front of my husband's face and he said, She said, You can't come in. Privacy. What? Disease?
spk_0:
03:48
Oh, yeah. Yeah. So it's kind of a
spk_1:
03:50
shock s o. He waited in the hall while I saw our little girl on screen for the first time alone by myself. And then he was allowed to come in at the very end, and she showed and again that it was a girl. But we thought, If this is how this particular hospital and practice is at an ultrasound, how will they behave at the birth? Um, and I know that's not, you know, not a typical experience for ultrasound, but for us, that was our first experience with this particular group. Um, and, you know, we just we didn't want to stick around to find out, um, how it would be for the birth. So that was kind of are the straw that broke the camel's back for us. We were kind of back and forth about home birth. And so we went back to her Bradley class that week, shared our experience with our instructor, and it was just kind of a light bulb moment, like, you know, we don't have to give birth there if we don't want to. We get to choose, we have a choice. And so I kind of wrote this very polite courtesy letter to our O. B. Which you don't have to do that. I felt the need to do it for myself. Um, and just officially leave that practice. And so I sent them a letter. They could have it in for my file. Um, and our Bradley teacher was just so great. She was so supportive in helping us to connect with midwives in our area and really answer all of our questions about planning a home birth. And we actually hired a midwife that very weak, um, and and move forward.
spk_0:
05:20
I was curious how that works. Because I have to say, um, I I didn't even think that was an option for me. I'll be honest with you. That was how I was very scared about any kind of delivery. So I felt good about delivering in a hospital. But But, like, I also thought that was my only option.
spk_1:
05:39
Yes, Well, I even said, you know, we had a little apartment and I said, Well, we we don't have a house, like, are we? Can we do that? And she was just so kind. It was There was no stupid questions. You just said absolutely. You can have a whole birth. And I was like, Oh, we're totally
spk_0:
05:54
doing what a great idea. Yeah, that's amazing. Can you tell me a little bit more about the Bradley method and what that is?
spk_1:
06:02
Yes. The Bradley method is, um it's been around since about the fifties. Dr. Robert Bradley was a knob sta Trish in and just a little quick background about him. So, you know, kind of where the map it came from, he was seeing mothers, um, sort of low economic, single, unwed mothers. It was helping them give birth. And what he noticed Waas that when he was with them and when he was encouraging them to sort of let the process happen, he was sort of coaching them. Their births went a lot more smoothly. They were hugging and kissing him at the end of the birth. And he thought, you know, they should be hugging and kissing the father of their child. And this was the time where men were not allowed in the delivery room, so he kind of pack premiered, bringing the husbands and the the men back into the delivery room to support the birthing mother on. And so he talked a lot about my 1,000,000 birth. He was, you know, group is kind of a farm kid watching animals give birth. And he learned that animals give birth in the dark in the quiet. They're usually alone. We're not messing with them, but we're simply supporting the natural process. And so the Bradley method was birthed out of that. Andi. It's a comprehensive 12 week course, actually. So usually you take it in the second or third trimester of your pregnancy. Um, and you bring your coach your husband. And if it's not a husband, you bring your mother, your sister, whoever that support person is going to be. They come to the classes with you every week. Um, and you learn all about what's going on in pregnancy, the physiological side of birth, a nutrition is really huge and the Bradley method so that you're preventing some of those complications that come up with nutrition along the way. Um, and you learn comfort measures and sort of what's normal about birth and how to deal with the discomfort and the, you know, the feelings that are gonna come up, Um, and so it's a it's a really comprehensive course on, and we have just been such a meaningful part of our lives, too. work with couples in such a vulnerable and special part of their lives and becoming parents. Eso we we just kind of loved it right away. And our instructor was like, You guys really need to be teachers. You guys are just like we just started learning this information and we just couldn't believe that we that not everyone knew what we were learning. You know,
spk_0:
08:33
it sounds like a really holistic approach.
spk_1:
08:36
It really is. So it's so good. I mean, there's other really great classes out there, but obviously I'm a little bit partial. I feel like it is, and it's been around and doesn't have that brand name that some people might recognise in different parts of the country. But, yeah, I highly recommend the Bradley method for sure.
spk_0:
08:56
Can you share one of your birth stories?
spk_1:
08:59
Yes, I will. Um, I'm gonna share my first birth story because it's a little atypical. Um, but I feel like it's it's important and perfect for this this interview, because had we not prepared for birth, had we not taken our Bradley classes, it wouldn't have been as pleasant as it. Waas. Um, so our first child, she's 11 now, And I was 39 weeks and I was actually a dance teacher. So I was dancing, and I was in my classes, and I could kind of tell that the baby had dropped a little bit. Um, it was pretty noticeable. And I thought, Oh, this is really great getting excited for 39 weeks on. And, you know, one of the first things we teach our Bradley students is that first time mothers typically go over 40 weeks. Um, that whole 40 week thing is kind of, you know, we know it's an estimate. We know it's relative, but what they found is that first time mothers typically go sometimes about a week over. So 39 weeks I wasn't really planning on being ready. I thought I had a good two weeks ahead of me, right? I'm
spk_0:
10:06
getting nervous already hearing you say that you were 39 weeks on the baby dropped? Yeah,
spk_1:
10:11
like I just thought Oh, wow. Okay, just, you know, moving on with life. But it was exciting and sort of little things were happening along the way. About what? This is really normal. I could just hang out like this for a few weeks. Um, so I finished my class and was teaching, and I went home. My husband is actually out of town for just one night for work. Um, and so I went out to pizza with my older sister. We decided to go back to my apartment, watch a movie, just kind of hang out. I had a few contractions in the kitchen, and they kind of stopped me in my tracks. And I thought, Wow. I mean, this is pretty normal at 39 weeks. This is getting exciting. My body is just getting ready. Um, and I just smooth done. She left. I went to bed. Um, and of course, you know, I'd learned all this in my Bradley class. What? You look for some of these early signs not to pay attention to soon, because that sort of waste a lot of your emotional energy to get too excited. That adrenaline can actually, you know, slow things down. So I was trying to play it cool, just doing my normal thing. Um, so I went to bed, and it was about one. I am, and I just I remember sitting up straight in my bed after I felt what felt like I sat on a little water balloon on and it was my water that had broken. And so am I called my husband, who was two hours away. And I said, I think you need to come home. My water just broke, and I was kind of laying next to the night. Sam looking at the little clock, and I noticed that the contractions were already about 10 minutes apart. Oh, my
spk_0:
11:47
God. You were alone. And this was your first baby.
spk_1:
11:51
Yes. So But you know what? Honestly, I just felt like I know what to do. It's going to be fine. And I probably have several hours of this, and everyone's gonna be here and I'll be no big deal. So I called my midwife, just kind of let her know that she should prepare to come soon. She wasn't too far away. Maybe like an hour. Maybe a little less than an hour. Um, so I think maybe I tried to grab some water and like a piece of bread or toast or something. But I stayed my bed just breathing, relaxing, watching the clock so I could kind of get an estimate and things were moving really fast. So they were like, about five minutes apart of this point after maybe about an hour of 10 minutes a perf on. And there was definitely some blood with each contraction to which can be a sign that baby's moving things were happening quickly. So I called my husband again, and I just said, I'd like to say on the phone with you Are you drive home? The midwife found the way, Um and he was like, Okay, that's 99 young. I'm in the car and he just kind of talked me through some contractions. So meanwhile, outside is like this thick, dense fog that my midwife is
spk_0:
13:02
driving, you know,
spk_1:
13:04
and she drives in the country straight through the country all the way in my house. So it was really amazing, though, because my husband was like, I'm downstairs. I'm on tying my shoes. I'm coming inside. So
spk_0:
13:18
the how are you feeling? You weren't scared.
spk_1:
13:21
I was not scared because, you know, I had learned so much about birth being normal and natural and that it wasn't an emergency. And I knew that my body knew what it was doing? Um, but my husband also. I mean, he's just he's, like, calm in a burning building. And he was just doing so well remembering all of his coaching that he had practiced all those 12 weeks in our class. And we actually did exercises that were even in this exact scenario. You're on the phone with your wife. She's in labor. How do you work through contractions on the phone with her? Oh, you wonderful can't touch her. You can't be next story. Can't look into her eyes. Um, but we had done all this training to really trained my body to relax to the voice of my husband, which hopefully you already do. If you're married and in love committed to one another, you already have that deep relationship. And that's why it just makes sense for that person to be the coach in this in this experience with you, So no, I mean, I wasn't afraid. I was. I was a little bit like I really hope that he gets here soon because I'm gonna need someone here with me. Um, and it was really awesome because it was It was just, like, perfect timing. I felt like I needed him. And he was there just at the time where things were getting really intense. Um, and so, you know, we just kind of did our positioning things. The midwife was kind of updating us along the way, and we were just on the phone with her, too. We called with a couple questions like I could feel the baby was in kind of a non ideal position. Just a little bit. You could little bit of back. Well, a little bit of back labor, Okay? Like way had learned that. You know, if the baby's turned, then their head is basically up against your spine, and that can be really uncomfortable for Mom, and they often turn, you know when they need to. But she was just giving us some ideas. Like, get on your hands and he's rock back and forth. You got to get the baby moving down. And that was really great. We got in the shower, um, learned all of these wonderful comfort measures in our class to try and, you know, that's the thing with labor. You just You just try things when you're in the midst of it. But when you have this tool bag. You know, all these things that you've learned, you just kind of pull him out. And if they don't work that work and you move on to the next one. So we were kind of doing that, um, in that intense part, and I just said I have to go to the bathroom right now, which I knew and my husband knew the bat can mean that it's almost time to push
spk_0:
15:58
at the holy. How many hours had it been since you had woken up?
spk_1:
16:03
Spent about five hours at this point
spk_0:
16:06
that I think really quick to me. It
spk_1:
16:08
was very quick. Yeah, it was very quick. And I think when when you're in it, I just Do you feel like it's forever? You know, someone contraction to the next. You're like, this is never going to end. But I also had a feeling, you know, this is really facts like this feels like it's moving really quickly. Um, so, you know, I went to the bathroom and I sat on a toilet and I went to the bathroom and then I said, I can feel the baby's head. Oh, honey, I looked down and there was the baby's head and push. I know, And at that point I mean, you're just there's nothing scary. It's just the baby's gonna come out and you're going to catch the baby. Was that I'd do anything right? No, but all my goodness. So I squatted on the bathroom floor, which is a great position for births, actually opens up your pelvis when you're practicing all of your exercises through the Bradley. About that squatting is something that you practice regularly to strengthen those knuckle muscles, but also because you might want to do it when you're about to give birth. And if you have never squatted before, it can be very difficult. But we have been doing that all alone, um, practicing that. So I squatted on the bathroom floors. My husband kind of grabbed a towel and he squatted down and we kind of held each other towns, you know, facing each other. And I looked him in the eyes and I said, Don't be afraid. And he said, I'm not well, it makes me emotional every time you talk about it. And then I pushed my baby. Oh, and I just tried not to let her fall on the ground. She was so slippery and just felt like she just blew out full speed. You know, I'm sure she didn't, but it's kind of felt that way. And so we kind of catch her, catch her, caught her together, and we noticed that the court was loosely kind of wrapped around her shoulders. So I kind of tipped her head down to let some of the fluid come out of her mouth as well, but kind of somersaulted, herb. It just Owen take her. Um, and we had also learned that the cord wrapped around is very common. It's not an emergency in and of itself. Um, and that happens and actually, like, 40% of babies. I think there's some court job, baby. Yeah, Um, so we kind of just caught her together and, um, it just, you know, it just felt very normal from what we had learned. We just sat there in silence for just a moment, and it was beautiful and quiet, and she opened her eyes and then looked at me and she sneezed, like, two or three
spk_0:
18:44
times. And then
spk_1:
18:46
she just made this little cry and he kind of wrap this up in the towel and the phone rang right away at that moment, and it was the midwife to say that she was downstairs, so it was really great and crazy. Um, but it was not a medical emergency. And my husband went down, let her in. She came up and she was like a home. You guys did so great. You know this midwife? She reviews several different midwives. We've lived in different states, but she was kind of like your aunt. You know, your old aunt where not old, older or she just kind of you should just so so reassuring in her voice is a quiet and she's like, I always did great, Let's check everybody. So she did her little check in kind of clean the sauce and just tucked us into my bed to nurse. And it was great looking back. I mean, I realized I'd probably been in labor since, like, seven o'clock when I was eating pizza, you know, and having these contractions at dinner. But I'm so glad that I just went about my day because that's really what you're supposed to do until you feel like things are getting so serious where you need to stop, you need to take a breath. But, you know, I feel like I did exactly what a good obstetrician and a good little midwife would have told me to do anyway, which was to rest and, you know, continue eating and wait till things got more intense.
spk_0:
20:10
I'm gonna take a quick second to pause here and say, if anything in this episode resonates with you, take a screenshot posted on social Media and tag me so other mamas or moms to beacon. Listen it. And if you like what you're hearing head on over to apple podcasts and leave a review. All right, Now, back to the show. I have so many reactions to this story. I wanna just what? Amazing. A strong, incredible woman You delivered your own, baby. I, uh, believe big. That's amazing.
spk_1:
20:52
Oh, that's sweet.
spk_0:
20:53
But on top of that, I mean, it just sounds like you were so prepared.
spk_1:
21:00
Yeah. I mean, oh, gosh, we just felt like, you know, we lived in Chicago at the time. We were driving through the city from the suburbs through the city. Like it, you know, it takes you, like, 90 miles to go like or 90 minutes ago, like 40 miles. And we took that every single week, and it was a huge commitment, and it just was works every minute and every penny. Um and you know, again, I know there's other wonderful options out there besides the branding of it, But there is something so special about, you know, paying upfront, first of all, because that gets you the sword like no, we paid. We're gonna go. We're gonna take time off. You're also you know, you're together. It's like a date, especially you don't have other Children. It was a special time for us. We could go out to dinner. Our whole evening list was doing that on. And then there's something just really need about being in a group setting to like, I know there's online courses are really great. Ah, for busy people or people who can't travel took classes. But, um, it's just there's nothing that beats face to face with other people better in the same boat with that instructor That gives you that one on one time that support and answering those questions and yeah, I mean, I mean, I'm kind of like my personality is just a little bit like that anyway, like I'm sort of achiever, and I just kind of like
spk_0:
22:29
I could do it. It's
spk_1:
22:29
not a big deal. How are gonna be. But in this instance, obviously I have never given birth before. Um, and I do feel like what we had learned in the class was just awesome and particularly for my husband to like, he knew exactly how to support me because we practiced, you know, all along the way.
spk_0:
22:50
Yeah, I think that's so important for partners in our situation. You know, we did take a childbirth preparation class, and I feel like I did all of the studying and all of the reading. But But even then, I think that if it had come down to a situation similar two years, I don't think I would have felt prepared. So it sounds like you're Bradley Method class is just really were so
spk_1:
23:14
helpful. They really are. And you know, most people send so much time like shopping for a new vehicle or, you know, purchasing a large piece of furniture or television or something, because it's important. It's a big decision. It's costly. Those things are important. But when it comes to birth, I mean, we've sort of been conditioned to believe that we don't really need to do anything. We're just gonna do it. And it's gonna be the most painful thing we've ever experienced that our doctors will take care of it. But the truth is, that birth really is something you need to learn to. D'oh! Just like breast feeding. Yes, were created to do it arm. Um, alien bodies do know what to d'oh, but because we were humans and we have the ability to reason we have emotions. We have past experiences that we're bringing. Um, we have to learn how to use our instincts, sort of all over again and work with our bodies. Um, so you know, I always say that no one would ever run a marathon without training and running and physically preparing for many months. And I don't recommend that anyone gives birth without that same preparation, particularly a natural birth, because it's absolutely Yeah, it's an athletic events. I mean, it requires commitment and endurance and also, you know, trusting your body. It doesn't need to be the most painful thing you've ever experienced. Yes, there's discomfort. Yes, it's hard work, but I believe that the fear of the unknown is what makes it unnecessarily painful. So I think that the best preparation is to start with good evidence based information and positive burke stories. I don't know why I pregnancy is the time where people feel like they need to share their horror stories with the pregnant woman that they dio. And I think the best thing for pregnant women is to watch, read and listen to other moms who had a really great positive birth experiences. Um, and I think spending most of our time just to prepare for a normal birth, how it works, how it's meant to work. Um, you know when you let the natural process happen, and then a little bit of time learning about those unexpected situations and how to handle it when things don't go as planned. But unfortunately, I think that women are told that birth is scary and dangerous, and it must be medically managed, and it very rarely goes well when that's simply not true. When we respect the natural process and you leave it alone and we prepare for things to go? Well, um, you know, we allow the woman to give birth. She does, and she does so without intervention, she needs support, but she doesn't really need someone to do it for her. Uh, I think it's very important to find a doctor. Or better yet, a midwife who believes that they are just there to watch for things and support you along the way. So I think not only preparing with the class and, you know, reading some of the great resource is that are out there. Um, but I really need to change our mindset that you are there to hire the people to attend your birth on that year. The ultimate authority and the decision making. I'm not the other way around a man like us, you know, we just didn't know that we had other options. And I always say, If you don't know your options, you don't have any. Hi. You don't have to. Yeah, you don't have to do anything that you don't want to do. It's and not in a feminism like, hear me roar kind of way. But I mean, that's just this is consumerism. Here We're talking about being good consumers. And I would say that if your caregiver is using words like allow or let or they're sort of giving you this vibe that they'll call the shots, those would be red flags to me and that would not be words of support. And so I would suggest, you know, to shop shop around until you find a caregiver that meets those needs for you.
spk_0:
27:20
You know, I have to agree with you on so many levels here. So first of all, I completely believe, especially after having given birth, and I gave birth in a hospital with an epidural, and I'm happy with my decision. But I really believe in the power of the mind in the power of preparation and education because similar to what you said before, a lot of my pain, I would say, really did stem from fear and not understanding what was going to happen. And then I also wanted to piggyback on what you said about shopping for the correct caregiver for you. Because in a previous episode I talk about an experience that I had with some pregnancy anxiety and how I really didn't feel like I was getting the support that I needed, and what that experience taught me was that I don't have to go see my doctor just because it's the doctor that was assigned to me. Like, you know, it's my body, it's me, it's my decisions. And if I don't feel like I'm being supported that I need to find a different doctor or caregiver midwife, whatever it is, yes,
spk_1:
28:25
that's right. Yeah, and I think some people run into some trouble with insurance and things like that. They may not have much of a choice, but I would say, you know, we pay out of pocket for our home births, but a lot of times we're paying less than some people would pay for a hospital birth, on top of which we now have an insurance that reimburses us for most of what we pay Tor midwife because she files it, Um, and we submit it to insurance. So I just think you're right, like people don't know that that's an option for them. I know that finances can come into those decisions, but it really I mean, there are ways to make it work. If you really do feel like, um, you don't like this, doctor. You want to choose this other one or this midwife, and they're out of network or something like that. There are ways to get around that to get the support that you need.
spk_0:
29:13
Absolutely. So I'm curious with your other kids. Was your labor justice quick? Was the delivery Justus Easy? Tell me more about that.
spk_1:
29:25
Yeah, well, it's never easy for sure. I think that sometimes those quick births are just kind of like a freight train. And there's a reason for that. Gradual, you know, things getting more intense. Gradually, over the course of many, many hours, there's
spk_0:
29:41
been a yes, mentally preparing for one.
spk_1:
29:45
Yeah, that's definitely part of it. But, you know, they've all been really great. Ah, lot more uneventful than the 1st 1 For sure, they've all been around the same amount of time. Miss Forrest, you know, if I were to look back and count like this is when my labor started, they've all been about, like, I would say, eight hours maybe, but
spk_0:
30:05
you
spk_1:
30:05
know, labor. It's kind of relative, like you're always getting ready the labor for nine months, and I feel like you can look back and say, Oh, you know, I had some really strong contractions about a week before and that maybe when your body started to go into labor. Um, with my last baby number six, I had what felt like early labor, often on for about a week. And it was not very enjoyable, I can't imagine. And you know, finally, that the evening before the baby was born, I was just kind of like, Ah, emotionally, you know, like, let's just do this already. Um, and of course, physically, and my husband is like, Come on, we're gonna get dressed up. We're gonna go take the family out for a meal and bison suffering, baby, and just take your mind off it. So we did that. And then goodness, the baby was born a little of that night, but it was like two hours of labor because I had already been in labor for like, a week, you know?
spk_0:
31:06
Yes, I have to agree with that. A lot of times people ask me how many hours I was in labor for, and I had with my I only have one child, but my experience is similar to yours. with your first child where I went out to pizza the previous night and I had been feeling some really strong contractions strong enough that they were getting my attention. I just kind of like ate dinner, worked through them. And then it was around two o'clock in the morning that my contractions, they were enough that I needed to get up and out of bed and start finding different ways to manage the pain. And so I never know how to answer the question, because it's kind of like I started feeling contractions at noon the day before, but I didn't really like
spk_1:
31:48
where I
spk_0:
31:48
started to get too concerned about it until, like, two o'clock that morning. So I never know how many hours to tell him,
spk_1:
31:54
right? And I think that's actually one of my top tips is if you wanna have a natural birth, you need to stay home as long as possible because you don't need to go and lay in another weird bed just to do what you could be doing at home. You know, like especially if things were conscious, puts it around there. But I really happening very quickly. I really think laboring at home is so comforting. You're nice and relaxed, and then when you feel like OK, things are getting pretty intense, that's a great time to consider going into the hospital. If you if you choose that hospital birth because you know a lot of times to the nurses will send you back home. If you're not, you know, progressing at the speed. They want you to progress and you don't wanna have to go through that getting in and out of the car a bunch of times. So I always I always tell my moms like, just stay home. I know
spk_0:
32:44
that was one of my biggest fears was getting turned away once I got to the hospital,
spk_1:
32:49
right? Yeah, E think that staying in a place that's comfortable for you is what you should do carry out about your day like you did
spk_0:
32:59
a device. Another shocking thing to me when I gave birth was so like I said, I I wanted an epidural. I was happy with that decision. I had a hospital birth, but I expected I really did that. When I got to the hospital, I would be given an epidural, and that wasn't the case and I don't know. I don't know if different hospitals operate differently, but I was very shocked to find that, um once I was admitted into the hospital, I still didn't get an epidural for probably a few hours. I mean, I want to say it was probably four hours that I was sitting at the hospital into your point. Like I I could have just as easily spent those four hours in my own home with my own devices, my own birthing ball and things like that, like my own bathtub shower. I think I just thought that as soon as I got to the hospital, I'd immediately get that epidural and that that just wasn't the case, at least for me.
spk_1:
33:57
Sure, yeah, I mean hospitals. Definitely very. But, um and even so, I mean, there's no guarantee that that epidural is going to do anything. Sometimes they don't work. Sometimes there's one side is on. One side is often. I think there's a lot of misconceptions, too, and there's, you know, there's some good reasons to get in epidural. I definitely think that people make decisions based on the information that they have, but there's no guarantee that your delivery is going to be pain free, even with pain medication, right? I mean, that guarantees even when you have a home birth. I mean, there's no guarantee of anything. That's just life in general, you know?
spk_0:
34:36
Yeah, absolutely. That was my experience, too. And I got the epidural is it didn't work on one side. And apparently that is very common.
spk_1:
34:45
Yes, it is. It is. And I mean, I think that, you know, if you I think there's a lot of women to that go in hoping for one kind of birth and they decide, you know, I'm actually going to get on a patrol, and they feel great about it at the end, and that is really important. It's actually the most important. I think you know, women the way that they feel in their birth is really, really important. Even more important than the outcome. Um, how you're made to feel even while you're giving birth. That's something you never forget. Obviously, you feel if you feel supported, or if you felt like your doctor was there for you, you're not gonna forget that support. And that's actually more important than any of the other choices. Um, it's really It's something that sticks with you forever. How you feel during and right after your birth.
spk_0:
35:38
Absolutely. I'm in a Segway. Little because I want to talk about your YouTube channel. I have to say I'm a huge fan Is so awesome. I'm obsessed. I especially love. Ah, video that you posted recently like the vintage tidying of the house video.
spk_1:
35:56
Oh, my gosh. Okay, shoot. That was totally random. Like, I don't even know how I thought of it. But now I'm kind of like I'm gonna do more of those because it was so, so fun and realizing I am so traditional, like, there's just something about that era I know. I'm not naive enough to think those women have their own challenges. I'm not saying that. I'm just saying some of that that forties and fifties era is just so endearing. You know, it's always been my favorite thing. And I'm like, I wanna I dressed up that day, and I'm like, I'm gonna dress like this a lot more often. Um, it was just so funny. So I'm so glad to hear that. I've got feedback about it and I'm excited to Yes, more.
spk_0:
36:39
I just loved it, Made me laugh. It also gave me good information that I can use in my own home. So it was so great. So tell me more about, um, starting you to channel, because, I mean, it's just it's so cool. It's such an awesome idea, but it's also it has to be interesting, like you're literally inviting people into your home. What is that like? Tell me.
spk_1:
36:59
Yeah, it's a little bit weird. Um, at first. So a little bit of a back story. About five years ago, my husband and I got out of debt. We just decided to quit, kind of fumbling around with our school loans. And you know, all the stuff we we just thought you know what? We've been back and forth. Word's gonna dive in for real. So we paid off all of our dads except for her home. That was about 56 years ago, and we sort of became minimalists because of it. I don't really even like the word minimalist because we were kind of like that before. It was a thing, and to me, it's just a little more normal to get rid of stuff. And that's kind of how I grew up. Like we just had a really simple, you know, had what we needed and no more. So I kind of shy away from the term minimalist. But I'm gonna jump on it because people like it and they know what it means. So I'm saying that endlessly here. But we began living very simply because we sold a bunch of stuff. We got rid of our TV. We, you know, we just thought we're gonna do whatever we can to get out of debt as quickly as possible. And we actually hate off $55,000 in a little bit around nine months, I think. Who? Yeah, so that was crazy. But it sort of let us on this path that we've never gone back. Then after that, we actually moved to Hawaii for a short period of time. And so we were again being really choosy about what we really wanted to bring with us what we needed. What we loved, because it costs a lot of money to ship your stuff across the ocean and since moving back to the mainland and moving our stuff again, we sort of form these habits of really living intentionally and choosing because of our money. You know, our budgeting behaviors had changed. Um, so we just we kind of started, like, intentionally choosing everything we bought everything we kept in her home, what our Children have in their rooms, everything, what we wear. And we just found that living a life of simplicity, it really allows us to focus on our actual life instead of just maintaining our life day today. Um, and I really believe, too, that it applies to birth and breast feeding because it's not meant to be complicated. We over complicate it rather than just trusting ourselves and trusting our babies and trying to introduce all these extra things into the process that doesn't need our help at all. So I really like to kind of pair those things together. Um, and you know, really keeping motherhood simple prioritizes what you really want your life to be all about. It really allows you to enjoy being a mother and enjoy your Children and caring for your home like you're supposed to. Not that it's perfect, and you're happy all the time, but I really I wanted a way to get this message out to a broader audience and spread this message not just to my geographical circle of friends. Um, but I just thought, you know, I'm gonna start YouTube channel. And originally, we were a family of logging channel. Um, because I thought, you know, the stuff we do as a family is a very countercultural and, um, I think people want to see it lived out practically, you know, with my kids and how they do chores and how we don't really watch TV and things like that. So we started a family vlog, and it was a little bit weird. Like going to the zoo with my family with the camera. It just didn't work for us. It felt strange, you know, um, and a lot of other reasons. We've just decided to sort of move away from the family logging niche. And I'm really focusing on just springing this message to mothers just about living more simply, um and really, simplicity is really an issue of the heart. It's really getting to the root of Why are we so busy? Why do we have so many clothes? Why do we feel like we have to buy all this stuff. Um, it's more than minimalism. It's more than just the way your home looks. But it's It's the culture of your family, Um, and really working through that process of simplifying not just your belongings, but your soul running really decluttering your soul. That's what I always say. I love you. So it's been fun. It's tons of work, like lots and lots of work, but I really enjoy it as a hobby. Um, and my husband actually works in the evenings. So when he's gone at work and the kids are in bed, that's my timeto playing my videos and at it. And really, um, you know, talk to my target audience, which, you know, I have my Facebook group. Those were really my people, my friends, but also people. I feel like those are really the people I'm trying to reach out. I wanna talk with him about what they need and what their struggles are and what they want to see in my content. Because, like you said, I want to bring content, but I want it to be entertaining and inspiring and hopefully funny. Um, I don't just wanna blah, blah blah at the camera, because that doesn't work for me. It's not fun for me because there's no person on the other side. Um, but, you know, I want it to be something that they can remember, too. So,
spk_0:
42:16
yes, I love it. And the name of her YouTube channel is uncomplicated motherhood. I'll also include a link to that in the show notes. It's just it's great, and I highly recommend, Thank
spk_1:
42:29
you. Well, I tryto I'm doing new videos every week. Maybe someday I'll do more than one. But with six Children and hours and hours of editing for a short video, I'm going to just stick with once a week right now. But it's really fun, and I I really enjoy it. So I appreciate that you are sharing it with other people. I hope that you guys will join me.
spk_0:
42:52
Thanks for listening today. For more on pregnancy postpartum in parenthood, visit mastering motherhood podcast dot com and subscribe to this show wherever you get your podcasts. If you have a topic that you'd like to hear, shoot me an email at Mastering Motherhood podcast at gmail dot com. Thanks
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